After a miserable past week, I had to stop and recall how I felt when I met Jesus for the first time. What it was like when I really saw Him and the amazing feeling that came with it.

 I was in a fortunate position to have worked for a man who held so firmly to his faith that he involved me and drew me in. He wanted me to experience God, even if it was the last thing he did. At that point in time as I started to journey with him, everything else in my life started to fall apart. The guy I thought I would marry broke off our engagement. I lost everything and had to move back to my parental home.  It was a very humbling experience for a know-it-all 25 year old. Before I had to move, my employer and I sat down and had a heart to heart conversation. He asked me how I was doing and he actually cared. I shared with him my concerns and my fears and instead of minimising it and saying “don’t worry”, God will take care of it all”, he reached out, took my hand and asked if he could pray with me.  We prayed for a time I cannot even recall. He begged for me from God. I was so important in the focus of his prayers that for that moment I felt elated. I stood and looked at the shattered pieces of my life and all of a sudden it didn’t seem like such a big mountain.

 He was the owner for the company I worked for and despite the fact that I only worked for them for about three and a half months, they went out of their way to take care of me. They set me up in a bed and breakfast because I had nowhere else to stay. They arranged transport for me because I lost my vehicle in the process. They didn’t just pay me for the two weeks notice I gave them, they payed me for 2 additional months. They took care of me and when we said goodbye I couldn’t help but realise that this is what Jesus meant when He said, “I knocked and you opened” and “I asked for food and you fed me”. This is what Jesus means by relationship, by caring, by taking care of people. It is when they cannot take care of themselves anymore. It did do a lot of damage to my pride, but then again at that point in time there wasn’t a lot of pride left to damage.

At that point in time, when we said goodbye I stopped feeling like this aimless ball being popped around in the ocean. All of a sudden I felt like I had a purpose. Even though I had lost a certain future I had imagined for me, the future that God wanted me to have is so much brighter, so much more special. This future is so much more tailored to me, the way God created me and I am going to be what I was always meant to be. Even though I was full of sadness when I left, I felt hope for the first time in my life. I experienced peace within those shattered pieces. Even though I didn’t know where I was heading, I was excited and as foolish as it may sound, I was actually grateful for my life falling apart. 

The face of God can be found in the Bible, if you are in relationship with Him, but it’s very difficult to discern how to deal with it. Each of us are uniquely called to step into relationship with the world and be the face of God and Jesus and to be the Love. Instead of people telling others of God’s love and telling others everything will be fine once they give their hearts to God, rather be the solution. God placed us on earth to be the solution and not just route markers. Being in the service of God actually means to actually work like a servant and not expecting anything back. Being there and taking care. When was the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone? Instead of just praying for them and pointing them in the right direction, use your hands to help others move on with life, help others take the step in the right direction.

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